id be glad to
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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