In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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