I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my sisters under your porch take her home
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
