lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
