Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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