My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
where are my eyebrows?
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