I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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