i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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