well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
