I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize