If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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