He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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