is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dicks are not precious.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
