When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
