lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Randomize