would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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