The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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