I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
