I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize