This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
