maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
