Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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