I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
