ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize