i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I need to calm my uterus...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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