Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
