So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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