I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
