youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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