My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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