Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize