That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
