How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize