GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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