I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
