This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
