The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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