Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
