Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
