He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize