Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
