3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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