I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
