Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
