do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize