I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
