you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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