Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
