the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
