just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
