Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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