I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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