The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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