The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize