If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
