I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize