I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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