On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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