Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I still have a little drunk in my system
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
