Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
