I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
