When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
