Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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