you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
