this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
