Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize