Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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