Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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