just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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