Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
