Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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